I was reading about worship, and thought...

It is difficult... not to think that I wasted 4+ years of my life with someone, thinking that he was my future.

It is not difficult to rejoice and celebrate with my friends, all of whom seem to be recently engaged, getting married very soon, or married already.

It is difficult to think that I used to think that it would have been me in place of those couples... not because I want to be in that same relationship, but maybe because sometimes it's hard to wait to be in that kind of relationship with someone.

It is not difficult, however, to think of such things, as I imagine it may hurt others to think of being single and out of love... But I am in love. My satisfaction and joy comes from being in relationship with God, and knowing that THAT love really is infinitely more wonderful and fulfilling than a love manufactured here on earth by worldly desires. I am very thankful for that.

What is even less difficult to imagine is that when I do get married, that relationship will only be an addition to and move closer towards the manifestation of the love that I want so desperately to share with God, all the time (because sometimes I just feel like there is not enough of an outlet). I know, though, that I don't have to wait for marriage to feel God's love, or to show my love for God. I can do so by living a life worthy of the calling I have received. I can serve Him, love him, show my affections towards God by loving and serving his children... This looks weird in type, but I am God's bride, and can serve him as I would a husband.

The end.

LB