Making a record...

I have become fairly certain about several things. So much so, that I'm going to blog about it. Right.

In my heart, I have always and never not once NOT wanted to make a record (CD). Not for the sake of being famous, but because that is what is in my heart and nearly moves me to tears of peace and excitement when I think about doing such things...

I do not believe I have the best voice in the world, or that anyone should actually listen to me sing. But I know that I have words, I have a piano, and I have a voice. I know how to use all of them with solid proficiency. This leads me back to how my heart has always longed to do this. I seriously... cannot suppress it. In the words of Brandon Heath, "but singing my heart is one of my dreams..."

I'm not very good at putting things together... but I'm also out of practice... actually, never had to do it. But I feel the pull more now than ever to do something like that. Like it's the one avenue of music and words I haven't used yet to express myself. Strange right? Isn't that what people do when they want to express themselves? Write a song? Well, for a long, long time, when I want to express myself, I just want to write words... (I was going to be a journalism major, first, music major second). I want to worship God, I felt BAD listening to music that wasn't Christian. Not that I thought it was wrong, I just didn't do it. I think it's because the last time I stopped listening to Christian music I lost a grasp on the importance of my relationship with God. That's not a threat anymore, I know that. I know that when I hear a love song, a song of anguish, as long as it's not talking about something that is very clearly wrong, I know and think about how only God can fulfill my deepest desires for love, hope, joy, faithfulness, and anything else. Strange, this probably doesn't even make much sense.

So: I'm tired to trying to find new words and chord progressions that express my love for God, my worship... I LIKE the ones that are out there. If I want my personal words to God, I sing them out whenever, pretty sporadically, and write them down. If they end up to music, well, cool. But I'm pretty tired of trying. I don't think that's where God wants me right now... it's the only conclusion I can come to, because it's just not a reality for me. I don't even really like writing songs that inspire people to do something. Hillsong United, Hillsong in general is really good at that. I like how they do it, I don't want to duplicate it. I don't want to imitate it. I'm better at preaching with my words. Music=my emotions, Words=my explanation...I do like how Brooke Fraser puts her records together. I can't do what she does, but I can do what I do :)... Which none of you have ever experienced... I probably won't ever put those thoughts on here for fear of putting unnecessary worry in the minds of anyone who might read it (dad, mom?). I can't weave words together like Jon Foreman, be as innovative as Gungor or the David Crowder Band, but If I do make a record, you'll be able to hear them there. I can't even say that if you've heard me sing and like my voice that you would like my record... but I'll always be in church to sing, and ... well, I'll like my concerts!

The bands I like the most, but consequently don't get to listen to much due to the nature of my job... ? Well, I won't make a list.

Anyway, that was a ridiculous ramble. Congrats if you made it all the way through it with ant semblance of understanding... or just... congrats for getting through it!

Lindsay