"I love You, Lord. I worship You. You are our God. You alone are good."
If there is one thing that I have committed to practice this year in my own spiritual life, it is the practice of asking God for things that I have failed to be able to provide for myself in the past 23 years. A hunger for His Word, a passion for witnessing, a faithful love... I have been found wanting in these areas when I try to do them on my own. Every time I notice a distance between myself and God, I know it is me who has moved somehow, whether just over the course of time, or "life" stuff that overwhelms my schedule, I immediately turn to God and ask him for (forgiveness and) to help me. He answers these prayers with a fast and secure answer, most of the time, when I am not even looking for an answer.
Mind you, this process happens often in my life, so I've had some practice... My most recent experience with this was over the past two weeks. I noticed myself easily tempted and my mind wandering farther and father from God's will (whether this distance was small or great) and I didn't like it at all! I was not happy with this fare. Living a life delighting in anything other than the one who created us to delight in him and find ultimate peace and contentment just as He has in His own glory (pardon the gender exclusive language) is a cheap and dirty way to live, clothed in the rags of sin and shame, with guilt in abundance. Something is always missing. This is what it is like for me when I find I am not solidly stuck in the Word of God. But sometimes I just don't do it! I don't know why, but I just don't. I fill my evenings with unimportant things that don't fulfill me, just the time.
I feel fortunate that even through the thickness of my own flesh, I can hear God's voice. Over the past two weeks I have felt a pretty urgent desire to read Galatians. Who knows why. I had developed a bit of a distaste for these epistles. It seems like they were very useful for inspirational, Biblical quote books that were cheesy and difficult to apply. I felt like when I read these little letters, that I've read the same thing repeatedly and NOTHING new comes from them. I would rather read 1 & 2 Samuel entirely sixteen times before I read the Pauline epistles again anytime soon. But here I was, with little focus, except for that which I had asked God for, and what the Word provided, Galatians. I began it this week. There was no magic process, I just decided one night to stop wasting time and get to it. That's self-control, my friends. God will give you what you need, but you actually have to use those gifts... No one was going to walk into my house, sweep me off onto a deserted island with only my Bible and some water (isn't that what we always say when someone asks you what you would take with you??). Nope, I had to deny myself, pick up my cross and follow God-- which in this case translated to reading the Bible. Go figure. God goes so easy on me!
Anyway, I start reading and journaling through Galatians. I have to journal so I concentrate. I skipped over the "inspirational quotes from the Bible book" verses. I read the letter in context. I feel like it was the first time I had ever done this. Once in learned about Paul and why he was writing this letter, I felt better about the aforementioned verses, though still a little bitter for how we pull them violently out of context. How much more fully can we understand the Word of God (and for me, these epistles) if I can search myself and see where I have been living by the law (as the Galatians did) and not by the freedom of Christ? I don't have my journal right in front of me, but maybe I'll get to posting some things I wrote about in the moment... mostly key points in the letter to the Galatians. I do know one of them that I do love. It comes from The Message version:
But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. (Chapter 5:22-23)
and
Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. (5:25ish)
It is good to be disciplined, it is good to be passionate. We can do and be neither of those things without God giving us the strength and ability to do and have; teaching us how great He really is :). So I pray you ask for what you desire, and that God would answer you.
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." -Psalm 121:1-2
"Let my heart burn with a flame all consuming for your Son's holy name."
(Savior King, Marty Sampson & Mia Fields)
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Lindsay
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